Moms Hate Me

I was sitting at my kitchen table eating penut butter when an idea just popped into my head. I'm pretty sure this is illegal, but I want to be a baby assasin. Now I know that there are a lot of dads out there who don't actually want to be dads. They were seduced by a broad, who went and got herself pregnant. It's not always the mans fault. And when a man doesn't want the child; he ends up on Oprah. God damnit that's just not right! Well, with my unique services and cheap rates I'd take care of their problem. I would offer a humane way of ridding the child of it's life. But for a little extra I'd get creative. And hell, if he paid me enough I'd even frame the bitch who tricked his penis into fucking her. I feel a bit crude, and I apologize if I've offended anyone out there. So to make it right I'd probably donate diapers and such to the salvation army. Yup. Oh and for the record, I'd wash them first. No one wants a pre-used, scrungy ass-diaper. Which goes to show that I am a very considerate person.

"Why did the baby cross the road? It had no choice, it was stapled against the chickens back." - Steven King. Real Qoute.

What's the difference between a baby and watermelon? Nothing if your using a sledgehammer.

What's more fun than stapling a baby to a wall? Ripping it off.

A still birth isn't funny. So don't laugh. But when it comes to an early crucifying...Blame the Lord.